Atlético Perron vs Whiny Pansies, March 25th, 09

Hey guys,

Check out: http://www.bu.edu/today/2403perrongoestosemis

In case the ever unreliable BU today site is down, here's the copy:

"UNLIKELY COACH LEADS TEAM TO SEMIFINALS"

ATLETICO PERRON 3
WHINY PANSIES 1

Tensions were high at the BU FitRec indoor arena as the tournament
entered the quarterfinal stage. Despite the best efforts of rivals to
fall and dive all over the place, and subprime refereeing, perron boys once again emerged victorious. BU Today's Pierre Ruhm (COM'10) recounts his impressions of the game.

Goals:
1-0: Theta. Seemingly got confused whether to say "odd", "even" or speak italian while taking a free kick, so just decided to score with a direct kick instead somehow putting the ball through 5 defenders and a not so bad keeper. Very nice!!!

2-0: Shin. He struck again not long after coming on from the bench.

3-0: Shin. Thoughtfully exploiting the absence of offside, and eventually getting a wonderful long feed, he punished the rivals in style for having too many men forward. The keeper had no chance.

Player performances
(*****) messi style. great. deserve to have a tatoo of perron on the arm
(****) rosina style. great, but no need for eternal prize
(***) arshavin style. great expectations, good performance overall, but could have done better
(**) huntelaar style. definitely below pi
(*) victor sanchez style (player of barça). WARNING: another like this and perron will punish you
(·) perron style: mate, perron could do a better job himself
(_) peter (c.b.) phillips style. If you do that, you better pack your bags and piss off to Yale before Perron finds out.

andrew: **** Finally got shot at and had a nice workout with long distance shots. Held his ground through a few hairy situations inside the box. Barely let his second shutout bid slip away though.

jordi: **** definitely getting better with each game. despite the provocative nature of the game, kept his cool well and only got 1 yellow instead of kicking everyone's ass (including the refs) as they deserved. Read rivals' movements like a comicbook and was instrumental in feeding the offense.

andrea: ***** the only question for this guy should be "which arm would you prefer the tattoo of Perron on?" Hardly off the field (in fact never), keeping rivals' offense far from the goal and fueling perronis' offense in a spectacular display of power and stamina. Nice comments to the ref too!

unit: **** finally getting his theta to be more negative, good movement throughout midfield and some good shots, one of which hit the target. never out of position, and always on the field. Wearing a red shirt under a yellow bib prevented him from having a Messy game tough.

gabriele: **** more crap shots from mid distance, but some of them actually on goal this time around. Confused one of the rivals with Guillem a few times, but overcame this obstacle through bayesian learning. Lots of good runs, great ball control, and sheer determination on attack which almost resulted in a goal. BU community hopes his leg that the rivals like to kick so much survives till the final.

pancho:*** Better effort this time around, good ball possession and tackling. Stirred up things regularly in the opposite box. Needs to get more fit though. Also, involved in the most ridiculous call of the match when given a foul for being tripped by the other guy.

denis: *** despite continued running and attempts to put pressure on the other team, did not produce much in terms of coherent offense. A few inaccurate passes caught attention of Putin, who made an angry phonecall later. While the overall level of play was better than humour in Kazakhstan, still needs to improve next time. Also was trying to confuse Gabriele by wearing a red shirt.

shin:**** first ball he touched was almost a goal again. However, pissed off at that, provided two more goals for the team and puzzled the opposing team with his dribbling skills on many occasions. Could easily bury a couple more, but got a bit unlucky. As of the 1/8 final game, cannot get a Messy rating unless scores on the first touch though.

murat: ***** hacan sucur would be smiling if he saw it. Another great game with quality defense and nice counterattacks. Should start thinking about the tattoo spot too.

In the aftermath of the game, BU Today sought out the elusive and enigmatic president of the team, Pierre Perron, in his office for comments. Closing a solitaire game in progress, he commented: "I don't have much to comment on. It was all forecast by the model with level shifts anyway. My only comment is regarding the match officials. If they continue to provide such mickey-mouse refereeing, i will have no choice but to pick up the phone and give PERD shit for this. I will give them even more shit than the Registrar when he puts my time-series exams at 9am."