Atlético 6 Boston cream pies 2, june 12th, 09

Our ever-vigilant friend Pierre Ruhm, forced to write for Metro by the recession, recently posted this article:
http://www.metro.us/us/article/2009/06/12/05/Perronetis.victorious.again/index.xml

In case their cheap website doesn't work, here're the contents:

"Boston Cream Pies creampied by Atletico Perron"

ATLETICO PERRON 6
BOSTON CREAM PIES 2

Atletico Perron started the summer indoor league with a statement, by feasting on the unsuspecting Boston cream pies. Didn't they know perronis eat this stuff all the time upstairs in the FDR???

Goalscorers:

1-0 Gabriele. Beautiful and forceful run straight through defence, and a powerful shot deflected straight into the corner off last defender's leg

2-0 Fahri Great finish by the "defensive" forward with a shot from an angle - no chance for the keeper.

3-0 Shin
4-0 Shin Accurate shooting after some spectacular tricks. No chance for the keeper again in both cases.

5-0 Pancho. Pino opens his indoor scoresheet hammering the ball into the corner together with the keeper.

6-1 Shin Shows the pies who's boss again in style.

Player performances
(*****) messi style. great. deserve to have a tatoo of perron on the arm
(****) rosina style. great, but no need for eternal prize
(***) arshavin style. great expectations, good performance overall, but could have done better
(**) huntelaar style. definitely below pi
(*) victor sanchez style (player of barça). WARNING: another like this and perron will punish you
(·) perron style: mate, perron could do a better job himself
(_) peter (c.b.) phillips style. If you do that, you better pack your bags and piss off to Yale before Perron finds out.

Gabriele****: Great back-and-forth coverage of the field with lots of physical play, helping in offense and defence, and forcing turnovers and mistakes by the rivals. Opened the scoring to establish the psychological advantage early in the game. Lots of not-so-crappy shots, and one more would-be goal which was saved by some creampie's arm late in the game.

Theta****: As usual, trying to enforce barca-style soccer with wide plays and great vision of the field. Instrumental in central midfield and in feeding the attack. Unselfish with the ball, hence no goals posted.

Murat***: Great in defence, stepping in for Andrea/Jordi, producing a usual solid performance with good decision-making under pressure and sound distribution. Late mistake in the game prevented him from having a Rosina game.

Fahri****: The only question to this guy is "Where the hell have you been during last semifinal?!". Played initially as defenceman, showed great libero skills in going the length of the pitch and scored a great goal to further pull away from opposition.

Arup***: First indoor match for this otherwise outdoor warrior of Perron was a good start. Played cool defence, and switched into attacking mode a good few times. Won many battles for the ball.

Giulio***: Another old-timer returning to the lineup for the first time since the outdoor season. Spent his time on the field well by showing off good distribution and dribbling skills. Lack of proper conditioning prevented him from having a Rosina game though.

Thomas***: Also a new face on the roster, did not dissappoint in providing uncompromising defence and some good passes up the field. Good things to be expected.

Dave****: Making a debut and filling the goaltending void for the team, provided solid saves on all shots that got through, including a 1-on-1. So much so that the defencemen sometimes decided that they are not needed with this guy in net and went on attack, which led to a couple of goals allowed. Good positioning, vision, and reading of play.

Pancho***: The chilean midfield finally scores, but needs to quit smoking, drinking, reading decision theory papers and get some fitness. Would do great things if he could run a bit longer.

Shin*****: Good things will happen when you give the ball to this guy in the vicinity of the net. A hat-trick in this game is a good illustration of why this is true. Ratio of goals to time spent on the field is an all-time high. And this guy wanted to defect to softball!!

Denis**: Played the first with the agility, anticipation and receiving skills of a human-sized matryoshka. Rebounded in the second somewhat with more lively running and ball-handling. Notable for wearing the ever-falling-off captains armband, colored as a Latvian flag for some reason (maybe this was the problem?), and confusing the opponents by making them switch the bench, and the field side at the beginning. Needs to go back to soldiers' of Putin bootcamp.

Coach Perron, who was busy discussing sparse models estimation with Victor Chernozhukov over a bottle of transparent liquid, refused to provide extended comments citing unavailable data to change his priors so far.